


coming out of the night

by zonophone



Series: naki & shuu [6]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 23:23:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15278478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zonophone/pseuds/zonophone
Summary: Naki and Shuu live their lives after the end of the tale.





	coming out of the night

Shuu walked out of the room where Kaneki clung to life in his sleep. What was left of him did, at least. Naki watched him and felt the warm summer breeze of nostalgia. It made his hairs stand on end.  
'Tsukiyama,' he called out in his lowest voice.  
Shuu turned his eyes upwards, towards Naki, and smiled. Tired, he looked. Even more so than before, if possible. Still sad, but that was a given. Naki felt less like crying, lately. Some stuff had changed.  
'Monsieur,' Shuu nodded Naki's way. 'Ça va?'  
'Yeah, y'know. He better?'  
'Same as yesterday. Monsieur—'  
'Just call me Naki.'  
'Naki, do you want me to fix that sleeve?' he pointed towards the empty left sleeve of his jacket, hanging by his side.  
'Huh?' Naki looked down at it, maybe trying to find some defect in the fabric. 'What's wrong with it?'

By the way his shoulder moved, Shuu imagined he must've forgotten there was no arm to move. He didn't even know if Naki was left handed, he'd never seen him write, even though Naki had shared that one time about the letters he wrote to his people in Heaven.

'It's just flapping around.'  
'Ah, yeah but I like it, s’like, a flag? A sail. Like for ships.'

That was something Naki would think and value. Shuu smiled at him.

'What if it gets caught on something?'  
'Nah, won't happen.'  
'Find me if you need it fixed,' Shuu said after a long breath. He rubbed his eyes too and, as if he'd forgotten what he was up to, walked back into the room as Naki failed to call out to him again.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

  
'Naki, please uh if like you can please listen to me?'  
'I'm listenin'!'

Miza took a long drag out of her cigarette. She'd practiced this in her head many times over, had even reluctantly talked about it with Hooguro, of all people, but when it came to it she couldn't ever really get it out. Naki being the kind of person he was, he'd have still wanted her to stick around after rejecting her, if that were to have been the case. He'd treat her in exactly the same way he'd been treating her since the day they met and it'd drive her mad with anger and resentment until she made the choice to finally leave him behind, try and forget about him. There's always the possibility he'll accept, Hinami had told her, once, she can barely remember the conversation except for that fact. Maybe that scared her too. Her longing had been one sided for so long, what if the whole thing wasn't worth it, after all.

'Look, I,' she trailed off, taking another drag, idly pulling at the weeds growing on the side of the rock she was sitting at, opposite Naki, crouched on top of a smaller, mossy rock.  
'Monsieur—Naki,' Tsukiyama came into view from the side of the building, debris and waste crunching under his shoes.  
'Hey!' Naki's eyes lit up, smiling at him.  
'Am I interrupting?' Shuu looked to Miza for an answer.  
'Nah! We were just talkin',' Naki answered.

Naki had a special way of smiling at Tsukiyama. Granted, he had a special smile for everyone he was close to, that was just the kind of person he was, but somehow it was Tsukiyama's smile, the one reserved for him, that Miza took note of the most. When she'd brought it up with Hooguro he hadn't said a thing, just looked ahead in silence, and then had slouched over, shrugging slightly. She wondered if he felt sorry for her. She'd found out eventually it was him who'd tried to keep Naki from involving her on his planning of Tsukiyama's birthday party. He was right in thinking she wouldn't have been happy about it.

'What were ya sayin', Miza?'  
'I'll tell you later,' she said, standing up.  
'Are you sure I'm not interrupting?' Tsukiyama asked again.  
'It's fine, I had to go anyway.'

Miza wasn't one to cry, carried away by the weight of her feelings. She wouldn't have survived otherwise, the way she saw it, pragmatism over everything else, mind over matter, unlike Naki who’d carelessly throw himself into battle after barely healing from an injury, who'd cry every night over those long gone. That was what had attracted her to him in the first place. You won some, lost some, pain would change little of the world around.

  
Shuu sat down next to Naki, on the edge of the mossy rock where Naki was crouched down. He crossed his legs and felt the pressure of Naki's bended knee against the left side of his back. He told himself it was because Naki needed the support now, for his balance, his way of crouching had changed.

'I'm sorry she left on my account.'  
'I think it's okay,' Naki was still looking towards the direction in which she'd left. 'He awake?'  
'Yes.'  
'Why ain't ya with 'im?'  
'He’s with his family, Kirishima and Hinami and those kids—I didn’t really—He’s okay.'  
Naki nodded, now looking up at the overcast skies. 'What’s gonna happen now?'  
'I don't know, really. Anything could happen.'  
'Kinda feels like the end of somethin', huh?'  
'I suppose it does. The end of the story. Even the main character's married now.'  
'The main character?'  
'Kaneki.'  
'Ah,' Naki shouldn't have been surprised Tsukiyama thought of Kaneki as the main character, not himself, but what he felt about it wasn't exactly positive, maybe.  
'I guess now people will start marrying each other,' as he said this, Shuu stared pointedly at the spot where Miza had been seated. 'That's the mark of a bad story, everyone ends up paired up. The worst kind of book.'  
'I ain't read many books, so I dunno. Ya think s'better ta end up alone?'  
'I think life doesn't always have such clean results.'

  
'Tsukiyama,' Hori's voice came right after the clicking of her camera. 'You should go and see him? He asked about you.'  
'D'accord. I suppose I could.' Shuu leaned back against Naki's bended knee, one more time for support, then stood and dusted off his pants. 'Naki, you should go find Miza,' he turned to face Naki.  
'After I seen 'im. I'll go with ya now.'  
Shuu simply stood there, smile on his face, then shrugged slowly.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

It was already late when Tsukiyama walked into the recently renovated apartment. Naki was lying on his side on the floor, finishing his kanji exercises with the dim light of a plastic shade lamp that illuminated the empty place like neon lights dripping down the street when it rained. He'd been using his knee to keep the notebook from sliding away every time he wrote or erased.

'Still studying?'  
'Hey,' Naki looked up, face obscured by the glow of the lamp, like the ghost of electricity. 'What they say?'  
'They've successfully eliminated ROS. Everyone's doing full recoveries now. It's pretty—clear cut.'

Shuu looked around the empty apartment, the walls still covered by plastic sheets. Pretty clear cut the way they'd been rebuilding devastated areas, to home ghouls who had no place to go, and the few humans who'd been able to look past the doctrine of their history and were willing to be their neighbors.

'Feels different, watching ghouls working alongside humans.'  
'M'sure it does.'  
'You can go home now, Naki,' Tsukiyama told him, his back to him, staring out onto the nightsky through one of the windows, through the plastic sheet covering the glass.  
'I ain't really got nowhere to go to,' Naki shrugged. 'Was thinkin' of stayin' here till stuff's settled, case ya need help with the buildin' crews.'  
'There's no beds here, Naki.'  
'Pf, s'a palace.'

Shuu turned around and sat down against the wall, too close to where Naki was for there being only two people in an empty apartment.  
'I'll get you a bed,' he patted Naki's forearm, watched him smile at him with so much sincerity Shuu wasn't sure he could ever replicate it.

He let a couple minutes go by, while Naki went back to his studies, once again positioning his knee to keep his notebook and text book from slipping away, and while he chased certain memories away, mainly the end of a story in which so many characters he'd loved so dearly were now gone for good.

'You know,' Shuu said finally, when he could feel his mind threatening to fall down the precipice of sleep. 'I didn't want to tell you while you were convalescing—'  
'What's convalescing?'  
'While you're in bed, getting better.'  
'How'd ya spell it?' Naki dragged his notebook closer to Tsukiyama, pushing himself to a sitting position in the process. Tsukiyama never tried to help him when he did, his hands never shot out ahead almost instinctively when Naki tried any movement that was now different, with his missing arm. He liked that.  
'Give me,' Shuu motioned towards the pen, brushed his fingers against Naki's hand, his protruding bones, then wrote the word next to Naki's writing.  
'Ah.'

The interruption had knocked the wind out of Shuu, depleted him of the confidence needed to confess his thoughts. He'd let it slide, because Naki probably would too. It'd be better that way. There were other things stored in his future.

'That good?' Naki showed him the word in his own handwriting, smiling again.  
'Perfect.'  
'Hah.'  
He looked so proud of himself, Shuu almost felt like ruffling his hair.  
'What didn't ya wanna tell me?'  
'Hm?'  
'While I was conval—ya know.'  
'Oh. That. I, I thought you'd died.' It wasn't the same confidence, that'd returned. Something different.  
'Ah.  
'I thought about it a lot.'  
'M'sorry.'  
'No need to be,' Shuu paused for a second, expecting Naki to say something else, telling himself if Naki asked, then maybe he'd answer. 'I should get going,' he said finally, when nothing happened. 'Do you need me to get you a blanket, or something? There should be some in the truck.'  
'Uh, no, m'fine.'  
'Okie dokie.' Shuu stood up, dusted off his pants, and told him good night.

  
'Comin' this mornin', yeah?' Naki asked when Tsukyama was about to open the door.  
'Of course,' he answered after opening it, then promptly closed it behind himself.  
He didn't hear Naki wish him good night.

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Naki was surprised when he ran into Tsukiyama outside the former CCG building, now the TSC, even though it was him he'd been looking for. He shouldn't have been but it felt like it'd been such a long time since they last saw each other. After having lived so close to each other for months, spending their days together every day for so long, maybe years (there was no sun to keep count of time,) whenever they were apart now it seemed like a long time to him. Beside him was Banjoi, looking tired, nervous perhaps.

Naki looked good, Shuu thought, still dragging around the empty sleeve of his suit, but it was clean, despite having imagined it'd be covered in dust and grime.  
'Naki, are you looking for Nagachika? Or maybe Kaneki? They're still inside.'  
'Ah, nah. Was lookin' fer ya.'  
'Hey Naki,' Banjou waved his hand casually.  
'Hey.'  
'You were looking for us?'  
'Yeah, fer ya.'  
'Hm, we're going out for coffee. Would you like to come?'  
'Eh, sure.'

The cafe, Nozie, was run by a young ghoul whom Kirishima had mentored briefly before the birth of her daughter.

'Monsieur Naki!' the manager called out from behind the counter, waving both hands in the air.  
'Who're ya?'  
'Ah I see you also don't remember me?'  
'Got no idea, kid.'  
'Back then, you were the one that found me, brought me back to Goat. Mr. Tsukiyama called you Monsieur when we arrived, he was waiting for us, and the two of you prepared a bed for me.'  
'Ah, yer one a those brats.'  
'I thought it was nice, the way you waited for each other. I liked listening to yous talk about words and flowers and stuff.''  
Banjou laughed.  
'Isn't that embarrassing, Banjoi, the way you laugh? Should we pick any table?' Shuu asked, lips tight into a straight smile.  
'Sure, sure, sorry Mr. Tsukiyama.'  
'Sorry Mr. Tsukiyama,' Banjou echoed, still laughing as they took their seats. He watched Tsukiyama drum his fingers against the table. 'You really did look like a devoted househusband, waiting for Naki to come home with the stray kids.'  
'It was war. A different time,' Tsukiyama looked away, holding his chin with his hand.  
'Uh huh.'

Banjou wondered if he should push it, usually Tsukiyama was fine with being teased, even when it came to Kaneki these days, he'd let the jokes slide. He'd even been able to admit it, too, say it out loud, even if in the past tense.

'What's a househusband?' Naki asked frowning.  
'A husband that doesn't work. A NEET that's luckily married to someone with a job.'  
'Househusbands work quite a lot, Banjoi. They have to clean and cook—'  
'Prepare beds for the kids.'  
'They've many responsibilities.'  
'Yeah.'  
'I dun remember this kid at all, ya know,' Naki said, watching the manager brew coffee.  
'I don't either, Naki. Don't let it bother you.'  
'Here you are,' the manager placed their cups of coffee on the table and Banjou thanked them.  
'So why were you looking for us, Naki?'  
'Cause I ain't seen ya in a while.'

As Naki said this Banjou smiled lightly. He'd seen Naki three days earlier, they'd spent the afternoon with Naki's friends helping out at another one of the new building blocks built by Tsukiyama. He wondered if Tsukiyama was talking in plural on purpose.

'Also wanted ta know what yer up ta with the TSC,' Naki said this and downed his whole cup in one go. He hadn't noticed just how hungry he'd been.  
'We're trying to work out some agreement. Some former operators are willing to work with us, others, well. But, it's what makes sense. It's different, working alongside humans. I guess there's still some things I can't get used to,' some of those were easy to identify, the fact that sometimes he'd still find some of them appetizing, though never quite on Kaneki's level, the level he'd once been, and sometimes he'd feel some sort of primal rage bubbling from the depths of himself whenever he saw certain investigators, or remembered things he liked not thinking of, perhaps it was the same kind of determination he'd used to reject Sasaki on that rooftop when he'd offered to keep him alive, inside Cochlea. 'But we'd like to um collaborate with them. There's a lot of ghouls still alone out there.' What was most different was that he still felt as if on uneven footing, working with the TSC operators. It was as if they still viewed him, viewed ghouls, as less, despite how obviously a lie that was.  
'So like an alliance, a united front?'  
'Yes. A united front. Really like that phrasing, don't you Naki?'  
'Was one of the first things ya taught me.'  
'I suppose it was,' Shuu took another sip of his coffee. 'I like that name.'  
'S'a good name, yeah.'  
'I mean for the whole thing. To call it that.'

  
Banjou wondered if either of them would notice if he stood up and walked away. Tsukiyama was gonna pay for his coffee anyway, so he could just get up and leave.

'That'd be cool, yeah. Y’know if it happens, like, if ya do this, I’d like ta help out.'  
'Obviously. We’d need your help, all the help we can get.'

But Tsukiyama was still using the plural so maybe he needed Banjou there, and Banjou certainly wasn't one to abandon a friend. If only Rize could see him now. She'd laugh him out of the café. Or maybe she'd change her mind about Tsukiyama too. He certainly had.

'I mean like I’d like teachin',' Naki said, dead serious.  
'Teaching?'  
'Kinda like what Kaneki an' ya did fer me, teachin' ghouls who have no one else, mean I had big bro but, y’know what I mean.'  
'I do. I think you’d be great at it.'  
'Really?'  
'Of course, Naki. You taught me a lot.'  
'Ah.'

Banjoi was shaking so Shuu turned to watch him, perhaps he was laughing again. He'd tell him off for it, explain all the things Naki had taught him, all the different ways Naki had to see the world that Shuu had never even considered.

'Hey,' Naki said first, 'why ya cryin' Banjoi? Ya okay?'  
'Hm? I dunno,' Banjou slurred, he was crying so much. 'I dunno. Guess I'm happy. I'm happy. So many things have happened, so much time has passed. It feels like... I dunno. We've all changed.'  
'It has been a while since you wore flowers in your hair, that's right.'  
'Ya did too?'  
'In my hair?' Banjou tried thinking back on a time he'd actually done that.  
'Oh, that's right,' Tsukiyama said, at Naki. 'You put flowers on my head too.'

  
When he said it Banjou remembered, Tsukiyama pinning a flower on him. He cried even louder then.

'Are you sure you're okay?'  
'Ya need water?'

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

After dropping off Banjoi at the apartment he shared with the others, on one of the new building blocks, Naki walked alongside Tsukiyama under the starry sky. At some point Tsukiyama grabbed onto his sleeve and held it tightly in his closed fist.  
'What ya doin'?'  
'It keeps flapping about, because of the wind. It's slapping my sides.'  
'Ya can try tuckin' it into the pocket.'  
'This is fine. It's like holding your hand,' he said, almost singing. His normal voice was always at a perfect pitch, after all.  
'What's with that? Ya can just hold my other hand, ya know?'  
'So bold of you, Monsieur.'

When they reached an abandoned park—Shuu made a note of organizing a team that'd work on park renovations—Naki tugged him using his sleeve towards the plastic elephant that used to be a slide and had probably served as home for many, a rounded roof and cover from rain, and warmth absorbed from the sun during the day on cool nights. Naki had lived in many like it before. He sat on the trunk, the sloped end of the slide, and Tsukiyama stood next to him, leaning against the elephant.

'I thought about it too a lot, ya know,' Naki said, his face shadowed by the lone street lamp still working in the area.  
'Hm?'  
''Member, last year, was it? Like six months ago, I guess. Ya said while I was dyin' ya thought I'd died. Not dyin', I mean, convalescin'.'  
'I did,' Shuu had lost his nerve back then. He didn't know where it was now. Perhaps buried under the things he heard about Miza sometimes from Hooguro or the others.  
'I thought it was over fer me too.'

Shuu nodded, he didn't want to look at Naki, sitting beside him, for some reason. He kept staring at the dead branches of the trees lining the park. The wind was blowing so hard he wondered if any of them would snap as they swayed in the wind. Nature is all violence.

'Dunno why I didn't tell ya then,' Naki said finally. Shuu didn't know how long they'd been silent. 'Guess I didn't wanna make ya sad, ya sounded sad. Tired, I dunno. Ya still do.'  
'Thank you, Naki.'  
'I mean like, I worry.'  
'I appreciate it. I'm fine, though.'  
'While it was happenin', ya know, I had time ta think about stuff. I kept thinkin', then, how I wished ya didn't show up. I kept thinkin' 'bout it.'  
Shuu swallowed. His lips had dried with the harsh, chilled wind. He licked them but they were pasty. 'Why?'  
'Cause then ya'd—I didn't have any kinda regrets, yeah? 'Cept I wondered if ya'd say my name before sleep every night. Like I used ta.'  
Shuu's lips parted, maybe it was the dryness. Maybe he was surprised. 'I would've.'  
'See, I dunno if that's a good or bad thing.'  
'What do you mean?'

Naki took a deep breath before speaking. It was cold with all that wind, the way he liked it.

'I was s'posed ta be facin' death my own way, an' I wasn't scared at all, kinda excited too, 'bout seein' Yamori, 'bout seein' my big bro, showin' him the words I'd learnt, thanks to ya, and I was sure I'd be able ta face death head on, without regret. With pride, I guess. I'd done good, ya know.' Tsukiyama nodded. Naki didn't see but he could be sure Tsukiyama had nodded. 'I thought 'bout everyone, sayin' good bye ta everyone. Ya, tellin' me yer name was Tsukiyama, and Hooguro and Shousei an' the people from Aogiri and Miza and Gagi and Guge.'

Shuu put his hand over his mouth. He'd had a similar determination at the Lunar Eclipse tower, before he'd faced off Sasaki. He'd meet death head on and without regret but he'd fight until it came. He was good at that, and he'd gathered all the resentment and hatred he could muster towards someone he didn't know or recognize, because other people needed him too. More. Matsumae and Mairo and Kanae had had it too, for him. He hoped his hand would be enough to hold it all in. Sometimes when he was alone at night his hands trembled the way they used to before he lashed out in rage. He wondered if his hands had ever been enough to hold it all in.

'But I kept thinkin' how I didn't want ya ta show up, cause ya'd end up helpin', and I kept thinkin' about ya sayin' my name at night, too. Wasn't really a death without regret.'  
'I—,' Shuu's voice came out strained so he coughed a couple times. He felt there was something he wasn't quite catching, something Naki wasn't saying, or he was saying in that circumvented way he used, not because he wanted to, but because he thought with a different dynamic, learned differently, was so. Special. 'I would've helped if I'd known. If I'd been there.'  
'I know.'  
'United front.'  
'Yeah. I know. Ya got my back, I got yers.'

His knees gave in. Shuu slid down, his back following the slope of the fat elephant's body, until he was sitting on the ground, knees to his chest, smiling at Naki through the tears. He had to hold back on thinking and then saying Miza's lucky without letting any of the bitter venom he'd been savoring slip through and he opted for simply:

'Thank you.'  
'Wasn't just that, Tsukiyama,' Naki said fondly, caressing Tsukiyama's hair.  
'Hm?'  
'I thought I'd be okay with dyin', cause then I'd get ta see big bro, finally see 'im again. Life's just like somethin' that'd been happenin' after he died, ya know, just this thing. The people I thought ta say good bye ta, just people I'd happened ta find on the way ta seein' Yamori again. Cause that'd been my life, followin' him, an' now I was gonna keep livin' but dead. But I was thinkin' a ya. Thinkin' how fer ya it must've been the same. That ya'd be willin' ta throw away yer life fer someone. Yer own god.'

Shuu sobbed loudly, he patted his pockets looking for a handkerchief, he must've looked awful, tears and snot running down his face, ruining his make up. He punched the dirt beneath him with his closed fist. It was enough to crack the cement that held the elephant in place.

'An' how I didn't want ya ta do that.'

Shuu nodded, trying to ignore the fact that he knew exactly what Naki meant.

'Didn't want ya ta think of yer life like it was just somethin' that was happenin', fer no reason other than him. Guess it was hard fer me ta understand loyalty's not just livin' fer that person, s'livin' fer yerself in a way that'd make ya proud, that'd make 'em proud too, but livin', really livin'. Guess I wouldn't had known if I hadn't been thinkin' 'bout ya so much.'

Shuu kept crying, not as loudly now, for a while, until he was all cried out. Throughout, Naki didn't say anymore, just rubbed his back softly, let his own tears flow silently. At some point he geared himself for more. Tsukiyama's body was shaking not with sadness, Naki could tell, it was closer to how he'd felt, how he'd been, before meeting Yamori, full of anger and rage and impulse he had nowhere to put and no way to understand. But all Shuu did was punch the ground again, destabilize the poor little elephant some more, maybe run a crack through the ground that reached the roots of the dead trees.

'I loved him,' Shuu said once he wasn't hiccuping or trembling or angry anymore, still watching the trees about to be ripped from their spots. 'Kaneki. Probably the first time I'd ever felt that way. I had no idea what it was.' He laughed at himself, softly. Naki's hand stopped its motion when he did but then resumed with more pressure. 'I never said anything and maybe he never even knew. At some point it stopped hurting. To love him that way. I can't really say when that was. At some point my pretending I still could love him and feel no anger towards what had happened stopped being as strong. I loved him. I hated him too. I suppose he of all people would've understood those feelings. Maybe he was always aware. I'd never even said that aloud. How angry I was. How much I hated him. Maybe I never even knew myself.'

Naki stopped rubbing his back and switched to squeezing his shoulder. When he did he slid out of the slide and onto the ground, next to Shuu. He looked ahead, towards where Shuu was watching, thought about trees being ripped by winds, ocean waves carving their way towards land ripping rocks and trees and homes, and birds building nests on precarious ledges with all precision.

Shuu breathed out again, more calmly. 'Hori was there, when I couldn't understand why I'd felt the way I felt when I thought Kaneki was dead, so I got it. But--but no one was there to explain why I felt that way when I thought you'd died. What I wanted to tell you that time. I thought about it so much, that you'd died, I thought it was too late, for us, now that I'd finally understood um my feelings.'

Naki wasn't sure Tsukiyama paused to allow him to speak, but he did anyway.

'But I ain't dead.'  
'I know,' Shuu laughed. 'I know.'  
'So?'  
'So?' Shuu looked at him, his smile now closer to how he actually felt, lopsided with mockery and bitterness. Was Naki really going to make him say it? Talk to him about Miza, about the things he'd heard.  
'It ain't late, ain't it?' Naki was frowning now, confused.  
'What about Miza?'  
'Miza? What about Miza?'  
'You're...together?'  
'Miza? Together ya mean like--nah! Ya thought so?' Naki laughed. 'S'it cause everyone ends up married?'  
'Because she's in love with you.'

Naki looked away from him then. Once more at the trees.

'I ain't.'  
'I see.'

Neither spoke for however long the wind drowned out all sounds around them. Shuu had yet to find the confidence he'd lost that night in that empty apartment. The things he wished for, those he cared for, slipped through his fingers while he was always unable to do anything about it. But he was too tired to keep trying to hold them.  
  
'Ya still got the gift I made fer ya, fer yer birthday, that time?' Naki shoved Shuu lightly with his shoulder to grab his attention, tilted his head and looked at him straight on.  
'The bottle? I'm sorry, Monsieur, it broke.'  
'S'fine. Can make ya another one.'  
'Why?'  
'Yer birthday's comin' up.' It was about two months away but two months breeze by without anyone even noticing.  
'But why?'  
'Makes ya happy, don't it?'  
'And you still wish for my happiness?'  
'Course I do.'  
'Because you like me so much,' Shuu looked away saying this, waving his hand in the air because that's how little it mattered, to others, to toy with his feelings as jokes, that's how little he wished it mattered to him too. A sad joke, and just that.  
'Yeah. I love you, Shuu.'  
Shuu laughed. He could always expertly dismiss it. But maybe he could indulge himself in it for a while.  
'I love you too, Naki.'

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

  

 

Naki was waiting for him when Shuu came out of the lab. Hand in pocket, hair slicked back, Shuu reminded himself to tell him later he should get a haircut. He always looked more handsome with shorter hair.  
'Hey. Good work. How's Nishiki?'  
'Good work to you too. He's okay. He kept reminding me of the time I kidnapped Kimi and warning me I was being watched,' Shuu laughed. 'But I don't think I remember, haha, I think it should be left in the past. I hope she can really duplicate human food, get ghouls to eat it, I'd love to try some of their stuff, wouldn't you?' He kept smiling at Naki, who smiled back as they made their way out of the TSC.  
'Don't think we got the same hobbies,' he reached out with his hand to put a stray lock of Shuu's hair back in its place, slicked to the side. 'Ya should try the White Suits style next time, ya looked good.'  
'We'll see, we'll see. How was class?'  
'Fine, the brats learn real fast. There's this really uh belligerent was it,' Shuu nodded, 'kid, like dynamite.'  
'Your favorite?'  
'Nah, I dun play favorites, but s'an alright kid,' Naki grinned.  
'That's good.' Shuu linked their arms and Naki leaned closer to him.  
'Think they like it at the orphanage, much as possible at least.'  
'I'm glad they do, Naki.'

Outside snow was falling silently on the city, its debris, its new constructions, the endless traces of war and devastation. Shuu burrowed in deeper into his coat, and turned to arrange Naki's. When he stood there, facing him, Naki arched his feet just a bit, placed a kiss on Shuu's lips. And while Shuu held him by the lapels of his coat he wrapped his arms around Shuu's waist, and opened his mouth to say It's cold into Shuu's mouth.

Shuu'd opened his mouth out of surprise, initially, then to return the kiss, their lips warmed, Naki's tongue shy and soft against his lower lip.  
  


'Why?' he asked finally, opening his eyes.  
'Huh? Thought it was obvious? Cause I love ya.'

Disbelief etched over each of Shuu's features, his mind raced with the images of the past weeks, holding Naki's hand as if they were elementary schoolers discovering love during recess, pretending to be fake hurt when he was actually real hurt whenever Hori made fun of the two of them, watching his reflection in the mirror and practicing his smiles, always beautiful, so there would be no give away to what lied inside. He wanted to laugh at himself, this time and maybe for the first one in years, decades, not laced with self loathing. Naki really did wish for his happiness, then.  
  
'Let's go home, Naki. It's cold out here.'

**Author's Note:**

> so those fics abt naki's death are cancelled n now an au
> 
> took inspiration from mrmoonmountain on twitter wrt naki understandin he didnt need to cling to yamori in a certain way anymore
> 
> look i love naki n shuu n saiko n rize n that's it but tkg was a mess from start to finish in so so many respects but im grateful to ishida for creatin characters i love that i can write dum stuff abt
> 
> um im sure i had more stuff to say abt the fic/the manga but idk what else to say thank u to all of u who always read these im v grateful even tho some of u ship banshuu which is okay ig but im all alone here ill b sure to read ur fics tho
> 
> oh yeah ig it was ahdsjdksadlasdkajf what a het mess it all was both naki n banjou het married ajdsadkadkakdajdajf bye also was it just me or did touka not get a paragraph regardin what became of her is she rly that irrelevant ? nice goin....


End file.
